Right now, members of the media are abuzz over Pat Robertson's claim that the earthquake in Haiti is the latest evidence that that nation is cursed. As quoted at thinkprogress.org, Robertson states:
Something happened a long time ago in Haiti and people might not want to talk about it. They were under the heel of the French. Napoleon the Third and whatever. And they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said, 'We will serve you if you get us free from the prince.' True story. And so the devil said, 'OK, it’s a deal.' They kicked the French out, the Haitians revolted and got themselves free.
But ever since, they have been cursed by one thing after the other ...
Robertson's particularly eloquent when he says things like "Napoleon the Third and whatever." But I especially love how every time he says, "True story," it becomes more apparent that the "Jerry Springer Show" show saves more American souls than "The 700 Club."
Joy Behar wonders just how Pat Robertson knows that the Haitians made that pact with Satan. But I don't wonder. I've known for many years that Pat Robertson is, in fact, the Prince of Darkness. That's right. Pat Robertson (not Ozzy Osbourne) is the Devil. So, if Haiti made that pact, he'd be the one to know about it.
Allow me to explain.
Would you consider ignorance and hatred to be evils? I imagine so. Pat Robertson has been spreading ignorance and hatred to millions via his televangelist ministry bullshit sessions for years. Therefore, Pat Roberston has been spreading evil. As this is traditionally a primary goal of the Devil, Pat Robertson must, therefore, be the Devil (or at least one of his most highly-paid agents). QED.
I must the greatest logician that ever lived.
Even if you want to poke holes in my reasoning, consider more of what the Devil Robertson said:
That island of Hispaniola is one island. It’s cut down the middle, on the one side is Haiti, on the other side is the Dominican Republic. The Dominican Republic is prosperous, healthy, full of resorts, etc. Haiti is in desperate poverty. Same island.
I'm sure that Pat Robertson knows his history. OK, I'm not really sure of that, but I do know that sharing truth with others isn't exactly his bag. A quick Google search reveals plenty of reasons why Haiti is in far worse shape than its neighbor. The island of Hispaniola has a long history of racism and feuding, even after the departure of colonialist occupants. The Dominican Republic has simply gotten the upper hand in a violent conflict and benefitted from that advantage. Essentially, Pat Robertson is saying that killing is just fine, as long as you're Christian. Didn't the Pope say the same thing during the Crusades? And here I thought that we'd learned something in the intervening centuries.
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