Many times it's been said that we're a lot like the Romans of old. And it's true, really. They had their bread and circus; we have Doritos and Bud Light. They sometimes had corrupt Senates and demented, reckless leaders; ditto here. And as they loved to blow their money watching gladiators butcher each other, we get our kicks watching guys in helmets and pads wrestle and grope each other on account of an oddly-shaped ball.
Only I don't think that the businessmen of the Old World spent staggering sums so that they could disrupt the combat with ads for their latest sport-utility chariot. One of the big consequences of being part of a large, consumer-driven economy is that, as a general rule, the more you want to see something, the more advertising you'll have to suffer through. In the case of a sports event, you can often watch ten minutes of ads with occasional cuts back to the "action," where action is composed largely of a series of timeouts, false starts, and coaches arguing with referees as if it's going to serve any purpose other than to further stall the game.
So ... Why the fuck do people watch sports?
It's just another of those great mysteries of life, like where all those missing socks go or how babies are made (no one has been able to give me a serious, non-sexual explanation of that one yet). But mysterious or not, the influence of sporting events on daily life cannot be denied. So great is the potential of those gaps in the "action" that the television network can carve them up into thirty-second increments and try to sell each one for between 2-3Million dollars. The real crazy part is that people actually buy this time. Companies producing all sorts of stuff turn into ravenous beasts, gobbling up ad spots in hopes of getting us to gobble up their beer, cola, cars, and stock investment strategies.
(For those of you wondering when I'll get to my point, I'm just now arriving at it.)
One group looking to win our hearts in 30 seconds doesn't really produce anything, though. While they, too, have looked at the United States and seen similarities to Rome, especially in how we're so concerned in affairs abroad that we've forgotten to look to troubles on the home front, they also worry that while we're introducing far-off lands to our civilized and clearly superior ways, vice and corruption are spreading here.
If you're wondering what these guys want, take a guess. Fairness in lending and credit? No. An end to corrupt lobbying practices? Naw. Actual representation of the people (as opposed to insurance companies) in healthcare reform? Don't be naive.
This organization is Focus on the Family. If you haven't heard of them, they're one of those groups that just loves to tell you how you should live based on their values.
So they're pretty much like most of the assholes on this planet, only these particular assholes want to give you no choice when it comes to keeping your unborn child. (Don't even get me started on their anti-gay views.) Now I may not know how kids are made exactly, but I do know that it involves choices, which appears to be more than these guys know about the matter.
So here's the rundown, as reported by The Huffington Post: at some point during the Superbowl, Tim Tebow (ex-quarterback, Heisman winner) and his mom (Pam) are going to appear on screen for 30 seconds to "share a personal story centering on the theme 'Celebrate Family, Celebrate Life.'"
Neat. The popular theory on the ad's content:
... the commercial is likely to be an anti-abortion message chronicling Pam Tebow's 1987 pregnancy. After getting sick during a mission trip to the Philippines, she ignored a recommendation by doctors to abort her fifth child and gave birth to Tim.
Wow! She didn't abort and as a reward for her wisdom, she got a Heisman winner. Pretty sweet deal. And that's clearly why she and her son are the best talent for this ad. Or maybe it has something to do with how Tim and Pam are also the son and wife (respectively) of Bob Tebow, of the Bob Tebow Evangelistic Association.
In any event, not having an abortion worked out well for Pam Tebow. Good for her. That was her choice. Now, whether intentionally or not, she's helping push an agenda that removes choice.
Despite whatever values her doctors professed, they allowed her to choose for herself and her child, even if they thought it would amount to harm, because when it came right down to it, it was Pam's call to make.
Why can't that be the moral of the story?
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