Janet Boynes, an ex-lesbian (but current jackass), testified yesterday against same-sex marriage before the Minnesota Senate. She believes gay marriage is bad for kids, as well as everyone else. She also believes it's bad for your poo-poo slide.
"The human rectum wasn't made for sexual behavior," she said. Anal sex "can lead to Gay Bowel Syndrome."
FYI, Gay Bowel Syndrome is an outdated term that smart people no longer use but that bigots use a lot because it's nice and scary — way scarier than its sister disease, Repetitive Dysmorphic Ass Picking Disorder With Itching — and because, you know, your ASS is in DANGER!
Boynes continued: "By legalizing gay marriage you're deliberately putting children in an unhealthy environment," she assured, "and affirming unhealthy sexual behavior." Then, in closing, she encouraged everyone in the room to "separate fact from fiction."
Go ahead. Take a moment to laugh. I did.
The best part of hearing came when Boynes finally shut up, when after she spoke Senator Mia Moua addressed her directly:
In these bills, I don't see the words "anal" or any of the words that you've used in your testimony, and yet it seems that the group of testifiers ... your colleagues who've been up to the table to testify against these bills for the last half hour, are so fixated on the SEX-making aspect of these bills when, in essence, they're not explicit. I mean, these bills are so careful to carve out the respected sanctity for marriage. In fact, that's what the words say. And yet all the testifiers who've been at the table are so focused on the sex-making aspect of it, which I find to be very contrary to what the intent of the bills is — to really celebrate the sanctity of the marriage...[marriage is] a wonderful thing and if it's available then it ought to be available to all of us ... So it seems that the fixation and the focus on the sex act, and the way that you've all presented it seems so contrary to the spirit of where the bills are trying to go.
Yeah, she said "trying to go." Love it!
Can we presume that Ms Boyles is speaking out at her born-again, gay-hating meetups about anal sex AMONG HETEROS? That's right: no straight marriage either until you swear on a double stack of bibles that you won't EVER engage in anything that ain't the missionary position. Because God loves you, but hates sex.
Posted by: Tammi L. Coles | March 06, 2010 at 12:42 PM
I hasten to add that anal sex is common practice with heterosexuals and this woman's arguments are invalid. It's almost like she is trying to score brownie points with homophobes.
By the way how does one become an ex-lesbian? How does one deny what one fundamentally is
Posted by: Dylan | March 17, 2010 at 03:22 AM