If I ever want a collaborator for a novel about Hercules' (or better yet, Xena's) sexual exploits with mythological monsters, I now know whom to ask. From the AP at Yahoo! News:
US author Littell wins Bad Sex in fiction prize
LONDON – A cringe-inducing passage which compares a sexual encounter to battle with an [sic] one-eyed mythological monster was awarded Britain's Bad Sex in Fiction Prize on Monday.
The editors of the Literary Review magazine said best-selling American author Jonathan Littell won the prize for describing a sex act as "a jolt that emptied my head like a spoon scraping the inside of a soft-boiled egg."
Okay, if THAT'S how you'd describe it, you're probably doing it wrong.
The offending passage compared female genitalia to various Greek fiends, including the mythical monster Gorgon and "a motionless Cyclops whose single eye never blinks."
Well, before you doubt his insight, let's think about this Gorgon thing for a second. "Her public hair was like a tangle of snakes, and the very sight of her [put your favorite synonym for 'giant 70s-like bush protected va-jay-jay' here] made him hard as stone." I think it works!
Littell beat other shortlisted authors including Paul Theroux and John Banville to the prize, which celebrates crude or ridiculous descriptions of sex in modern literature.
Littell's book, "The Kindly Ones," is a 900-page epic narrated by a fictional Nazi officer. Originally published in French, the international best-seller won France's top literary honor, the Goncourt Prize, in 2006. ...
Literary Review said Littell's editor accepted the prize, but the author himself was not available for comment.
He was probably too busy looking for hot, racy monsters in Mormon tradition. Good luck, buddy.
End-Of-Post AKA Lightning-Round Challenge: Post a comment with your best worst sexy prose! But here's the, uh, hard, part — do it cleanly!
