Pimp My Wry

Surprise, Surprise, Surprise

So, turns out that Sarah Palin isn't really going away after all. 

Is anyone surprised by this? I'm not. 

Strictly Personal

This weekend started with the death of Michael Jackson and ended with the death of Billy Mays (admittedly, not nearly as culturally seismic as the loss of MJ). In between these two “public” events —to the degree that death, arguably the most singularly private event in one’s life is ever truly public—most of us just lived our lives.

 In my case, this included being involved in two disparate but equally thought-provoking celebrations. Breaking with my usual PMW subject matter, I'm going to indulge in some musing on those two very different parties. 

Well, That’s a Shocker!

It doesn’t really surprise me to learn that Gov. Mark Sanford’s lost weekend involved “another woman.”  After all, what better way to derail talk of another run at the presidency in 2012 than a good old-fashioned affair involving international travel? Yeah, he was a candidate in 2008, remember? Part of his platform was his position on civil unions; he was (and may still be) big on defining marriage as being between one man and one woman. And he voted yes on the bill seeking to ban adoption by gay couples and other individuals not related by blood or marriage in the District of Columbia . 

Clearly, Gov. Sanford is a man who holds family values dear. That’s why he took off for a romantic tryst with a woman who is not his wife on Father’s Day weekend. 

Gotta love the Republicans. 

Long Time, No See (Again)

I spend a great deal of time enmeshed in my own little world, grappling with my memories, working on making what I hope is “art” out of personal experience. Perhaps, then, it’s not surprising that I a) fall off the face of the Earth from time to time (sorry, Kim) and b) tend to lose sight of what’s going on in the world.

Fortunately, there are other writers who keep an ear to the ground, have an eye on world events and maintain an awareness of the ways things that happen on the other side of the globe may affect people like me (and vice versa).

Since I’m in a crunch period, I thought I’d offer up a link to an interview with Iranian-American journalist Roya Hakakian, that provides a glimpse into the role feminism is playing in Iran during that country’s time of upheaval. Read and learn, as I did, my friends.

Partly Right

So, Dick Cheney is on the record supporting gay marriage, sort of. In a speech at the National Press Club, he said, "I think, you know, freedom means freedom for everyone. I think people ought to be free to enter into any kind of union they wish, any kind of arrangement they wish."

The problem I have with Cheney's position is this: he believes it is an issue for the states to decide. This completely ignores the fact that marriage is, due to the Defense of Marriage Act of 1996, marriage is a federally regulated contract (oh, and thanks for that, by the way, President Clinton). Inheritance rights, tax status, the right to military and financial benefits and spousal privilege (you know, the law that says married people can't be compelled to testify against their spouses) are all granted by the federal government. 

So, Cheney got it partly right. Yet still so very wrong, don't you think? 

I Just Thought I'd Share This With You

I don't know if this is horrifying or hilarious, but there's something about the idea of any kind of book being issued on toilet paper that seems worth noting. 

Am I wrong? I don't think so. 

Baby Baby

Controversy is, apparently, a-brewin’. I know because Diane Sawyer told me so in her commentary regarding the report that 66-year-old Elizabeth Munro of the UK is going to become a mother for the first time in the next few weeks. 

This controversy may pale in comparison to the recent furor over Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick’s decision to have twins via a surrogate. And this is hardly Octomom territory. Yet in all of these cases I find myself wondering, “Why is this anyone’s business?”

Oh, wait, here’s the answer, according to an article on the Mirror’s webpage:

“Last night, Christian pro-life lobby group Comment on Reproductive Ethics said: ‘We have to think about the child being born to a mother of 66 and consider whether or not this is the best thing. Nature dictates that it isn’t.’”

It’s against Nature, as are all things made possible by scientific breakthroughs—like the smallpox vaccine and chemotherapy and human beings flying off into space.

Same As It Ever Was

I’m hardly shocked to learn that the carving now being touted as the first known figurative piece of art is of a naked woman. It seems more than likely to me that, even 35,000 years ago, who had sufficient leisure time for art? Probably not the women.

Don’t get me wrong; I think it’s great that humans made the leap from abstraction to representation. After all, scientists tell us that this evolutionary step was essential in the development of our complex system of human language—something I support completely. I also believe that the female form is a wondrous thing, deserving of adoration and consideration.

But doesn’t it seem a little too predictable that the sculpture that has no name resembles a “Miss California” vision of womanhood?

According to an article by Clara Moskowitz, University of Cambridge anthropologist Paul Mellars wrote that, "The figure is explicitly - and blatantly - that of a woman, with an exaggeration of sexual characteristics (large, projecting breasts, a greatly enlarged and explicit vulva, and bloated belly and thighs) that by twenty-first-century standards could be seen as bordering on the pornographic." 

Hmmm.

There is, naturally, no record of how the woman this figure supposedly represents felt about the way she was being portrayed. But here’s how I imagine the conversation between the sculptor and the model went:

Model: “Are you kidding me? My boobs aren’t that big.”
Sculptor: “It’s my interpretation of your boobs, my vision of them.”
Model: “You are a freak. There’s no way my ass is that flat.”
Sculptor: “It is when you’re laying down.”
Model (pointing at the area between the sculpture’s legs): “I have to say your ‘vision’ of this is somewhat…telling. And apparently I have no head? Interesting symbolism.”
Sculptor: “Baby! It’s art!”
Model: “I think you’ve got some issues.”

 Then she probably went back to butchering a wooly mammoth while she breast-fed her youngest and tried to get the rest of her brood to tidy up the cave, wishing for the day she could have a cave of her own, and time.