Pimp My Wry

Perez Hilton, Miley Cyrus And Me

Perez Hilton is to journalism what BP is to environmentalism: A disgrace, to say the very least. I'm no Hilton supporter, and I've made no secret of that. In fact, of all the sentences I've written in my career, there are three that are quoted more often than any others, and they are about him.

Here's just one example taken from a 2006 essay that was published on AfterEllen.com, as quoted in the Perez Hilton Wikipedia entry:

I have to question the character of a man who attacks others on such deeply personal levels, without provocation and for self-benefit, monetary or otherwise....If he's emotionally incapable of exhibiting even the tiniest bit of compassion for closeted people, if he can't be sensitive to the fact that coming out is a very personal decision and that the process can be difficult for some — especially celebrities — I feel sorry for him. If his juvenile behavior is his shtick, I think it makes him a much more pathetic figure, and one the gay and lesbian community should not support...If we support behavior like Hilton's, we applaud shallowness, arrogance, rage and invasion of privacy, and risk becoming what we despise.

I mention this because two of those sentences were quoted in this Huffington Post story published yesterday regarding Hilton's lack of character pertaining to his decision to Tweet allegedly fake pictures of 17-year-old Miley Cyrus' private parts. He's taken the photos down because he doesn't "want to go to jail." But what's done is done. There's no unringing that slimy bell.

There's also no need for me to go in to detail how I feel about his attack on Miley and celebrities in general. The man is scum and my feelings about him will survive us both, no doubt. And that's perfectly fine with me.

Jane Lynch's "Vogue" on Glee: Pure Awesomeness

Oh, Jane, how much do I love thee? GLEE much!

Are You A Slave To Language, Bitch Pimpy McGay?

Last night while on Twitter, I found myself in the middle of what Demi Moore later described as "a shit storm" over Kim Kardashian's use of the word "pimpin'" (pics below). Why was I involved? Because I want to be able to Pimp My Wry here, here and here, and not be thought of as a woman who condones child labor.

First, some background: As was reported last week, Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, through the Demi & Ashton Foundation, are waging war against child slavery  in earthquake-demolished Haiti. The Foundation is leading a fundraising effort that asks all who attend the United Nations meeting on March 31 to make donations to Haiti, BUT only on the condition that child labor be banned.

Their efforts should be applauded. Child labor is wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. I'm pretty sure most people would agree on that.

Anyway, everything was going along swell for Demi and her cause until last night, when she called out Kim Kardashian on Twitter, because Kim tweeted a photo of herself and some friends, along with this message: "Big pimpin w @SerenajWilliams @LaLaVazquez @Kelly_Rowland Love u girls!"

Oh, Kristen Stewart, Just Come Out Already; Joan Jett Would Approve!

Just saw the first preview for The Runaways on TV. Oh, Kristen Stewart, just come out already!

Sigh.

Take a look at the trailer.

What's Wrong With This Picture, Besides Everything?

Sean Lennon, son of John Lennon and Yoko Ono,  and his girlfriend, model Kemp Muhl, have attempted to recreate the iconic Rolling Stone cover of his famous parents, but have failed miserably:

The original photo (below), taken by Annie Leibovitz, is a classic. The new photo, taken by Terry Richardson for the fall issue of purple fashion magazine (France), is pathetic by comparison. 

 

A word that might best describe the original is "intimate." But the words that come to mind when looking at the recreation are, "Not now, I think I'm going to be sick!"

That makes two of us.

What "Transformed Man" William Shatner Can Teach Sarah Palin

William Shatner returned to The Tonight Show for the second time this week to mock Sarah Palin. 

On Monday night he read aloud — to the beat of a bongo player —  a portion of Palin's resignation speech. Last night, he recited her Twitter posts (video below).

In fairness to Palin, nobody's Twitter posts are elegant or awe-inspiring. So she's not reaching a new low when 'tweeting' about listening to Big & Rich; she's just the target of the moment. 

The focus is, and should be, on the guy with the arrow — Shatner,  and on what he could teach the former governor of Alaska — a woman who is in desperate need of transformation. 

Shatner realized early that the key to a long career is perfecting the ability to reinvent himself. It didn't work out very well for him in the beginning, but look at him now. His exaggerated style of interpretive reading is hilariously successful not so much because of the content, but because there was a time when he took this type of performance art seriously. Very seriously.

In 1968, in an effort to move beyond his Star Trek personna, Shatner released his first album, The Transformed Man. It was a failure then, but his songs are now cult classics. If you haven't heard any of them, listen to some tracks posted on YouTube. Do that now; you won't be disappointed.

Ten years later, Shatner hosted the Science Fiction Film Awards and performed Elton John's Rocket Man as spoken word (video below). Today, viewers find his rendition of that song (and the "special effects") comical, but no one in the audience laughed when he performed it live — not even when he started dancing. 

Forty years ago, Shatner wasn't at all happy about being laughed at, but now he's the one laughing from gig to gig. Kudos to him for reinventing himself over the years through the art of self-deprecation. Hopefully, Sarah Palin is paying attention.

 

"My Vagina Is 8 Miles Wide!" (Video)

No, not mine. So if you've come here looking for porn, you've come to the wrong place.

That quote belongs to performance artist Storm Large and it's from her music video "8 Miles Wide": "My vagina is 8 miles wide. Come in, come in, come inside!"

It's a catchy tune. Very catchy. After listening to it only once I found myself singing, "I am not loose, I'm not a whore. This is a metaphor for my supervagintastically mystical feminist goddess core!" while making coffee. 

Hat tip to my good friend Megan A. for turning me on to Ms. Large and her one-woman show "Crazy Enough." If I ever get to Portland, Oregon, I'll be sure get tickets.

 

Flash Mob Tribute To Michael Jackson In Stockholm

I'm still waiting for the most flashmobapalooza-est MJ tribute ever, but this one performed on July 8 is the best one so far, I think.

It's a "Beat It" two-for-one!